I don’t know who our web guy frisked fondly, but we get some of the best junk mail in the www. To be more accurate, we get some of the best junk mail subject lines; I don’t read the cow poo inside. Take a gander, it sounds like a poetry slam:

Cripple
Unaffected Undesirable Underclass
Friar Forbidden Prankster
Manned Rooster
Waver
Smart Aleck
Pucker
Sluggish Mason…

See what I mean? You can smell that aimless angst like a stable hand farting in his sleep in the hot sun. We couldn’t make up golden nuggets like these if we tried all night over a box of chardonnay. (The photo is all about the false sense of tranquility imposed by The Man’s master plan to make us live in hypnotic life boxes; dig).