At last, The Shoewhorse takes a pair of shoe to the extreme. That’s right, horse on horse action…

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We’ve been down with a staggering case of Equine Polysaccharide Storage Myopathy for so f.ing long that we almost high-(and silken)-tailed it to that great carrot orgy in the sky, but then Clip Clop wrote in and saved the day!

He writes:

I bought these a long time ago at Ross for like $20, more of a basketball shoe, but slightly “fresh.”
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I’m a marathon skateboarder. This doesn’t mean that I skate 26.2 miles at a time, pushing along like a blind idiot until my nipples are bleeding from the constant rubbing against my shirt and I’ve thrown up a sandwich from two weeks ago, I’m just really into covering ground on my skateboard.

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I had this whole intro worked out in my head where I was going to compare the venerable Duffs Gamblers to Steven Segal, in the sense that they are/were both hard to kill. Silly, right?

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You can’t go on vacation without shoes. (Or can you?)

Recently I had to throw out the Sperry slip-ons that, as faithful reader(s) will recall, were a gift of fate. For the third time while wearing them without socks I was visited by a nasty heat rash.

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I don’t know who our web guy frisked fondly, but we get some of the best junk mail in the www. To be more accurate, we get some of the best junk mail subject lines; I don’t read the cow poo inside. Take a gander, it sounds like a poetry slam:

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Horses don’t give two round shits about soccer, but the Gilded Gelding and I still thought it would be fun to try and watch the two halves of the USA v. Italy game in separate, team-appropriate venues.
Thusly, we started at the ESPN Zone in downtown Chicago. This place reps American-style excess so hard that we expected to find swirls of red white and blue liquid in the urinals.

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Wheelie across Chicago’s gnarrest pad (click Read on… for sequence)

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A Shoewhorse Photo-Odyssey

New York is dirtier than a dead Clydesdale’s bloated colon. It’s gross. If your hands aren’t under a faucet trying to wick away the grime of 8 million farts then your finger is up your nose dislodging cakes of grime-infused mucous.

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